Description: Table of Contents Title Page Copyright Page Acknowledgements CHAPTER 1 CHAPTER 2 CHAPTER 3 CHAPTER 4 CHAPTER 5 CHAPTER 6 CHAPTER 7 CHAPTER 8 CHAPTER 9 CHAPTER 10 CHAPTER 11 CHAPTER 12 CHAPTER 13 CHAPTER 14 CHAPTER 15 CHAPTER 16 CHAPTER 17 CHAPTER 18 CHAPTER 19 CHAPTER 20 EPILOGUE PRAISE FOR THE ACCIDENTAL WEREWOLF "Cassidy, a prolific author of erotica, has ventured into Mary Janice Davidson territory with a humorous, sexy tale."-- Booklist "If Bridget Jones became a lycanthrope, she might be Marty. Fun and flirty humor is cleverly interspersed with dramatic mystery and action. It''s hard to know which character to love best, though: Keegan or Muffin, the toy poodle that steals more than one scene." -- The Eternal Night "A riot! Marty''s internal dialogue will have you howling, and her antics will keep the laughs coming. If you love paranormal with a comedic twist, you''ll love this book."-- Romance Junkies "A lighthearted romp . . . [An] entertaining tale with an alpha twist."-- Midwest Book Review MORE PRAISE FOR THE NOVELS OF DAKOTA CASSIDY "The fictional equivalent of the little black dress . . . funny, sexy, and a must-have accessory for every reader."--Michele Bardsley, national bestselling author of Because Your Vampire Said So "Serious, laugh-out-loud humor with heart, the kind of love story that leaves you rooting for the heroine, sighing for the hero, and looking for your own significant other at the same time." --Kate Douglas, author of Wolf Tales "Dakota Cassidy is going on my must-read list!"-- Joyfully Reviewed "If you''re looking for some steamy romance with something that will have you smiling, you have to read [Dakota Cassidy]."-- The Best Reviews "Ditsy and daring . . . pure escapist fun."-- Romance Reviews Today Berkley Sensation Titles by Dakota Cassidy THE ACCIDENTAL WEREWOLF ACCIDENTALLY DEAD the ACCIDENTAL HUMAN THE BERKLEY PUBLISHING GROUP Published by the Penguin Group Penguin Group (USA) Inc. 375 Hudson Street, New York, New York 10014, USA Penguin Group (Canada), 90 Eglinton Avenue East, Suite 700, Toronto, Ontario M4P 2Y3, Canada (a division of Pearson Penguin Canada Inc.) Penguin Books Ltd., 80 Strand, London WC2R 0RL, England Penguin Group Ireland, 25 St. Stephen''s Green, Dublin 2, Ireland (a division of Penguin Books Ltd.) Penguin Group (Australia), 250 Camberwell Road, Camberwell, Victoria 3124, Australia (a division of Pearson Australia Group Pty. Ltd.) Penguin Books India Pvt. Ltd., 11 Community Centre, Panchsheel Park, New Delhi--110 017, India Penguin Group (NZ), 67 Apollo Drive, Rosedale, North Shore 0632, New Zealand (a division of Pearson New Zealand Ltd.) Penguin Books (South Africa) (Pty.) Ltd., 24 Sturdee Avenue, Rosebank, Johannesburg 2196, South Africa Penguin Books Ltd., Registered Offices: 80 Strand, London WC2R 0RL, England This book is an original publication of The Berkley Publishing Group. This is a work of fiction. Names, characters, places, and incidents either are the product of the author''s imagination or are used fictitiously, and any resemblance to actual persons, living or dead, business establishments, events, or locales is entirely coincidental. The publisher does not have any control over and does not assume any responsibility for author or third-party websites or their content. Copyright 2009 by Dakota Cassidy. All rights reserved. No part of this book may be reproduced, scanned, or distributed in any printed or electronic form without permission. Please do not participate in or encourage piracy of copyrighted materials in violation of the author''s rights. Purchase only authorized editions. BERKLEY SENSATION and the "B" design are trademarks of Penguin Group (USA) Inc. PRINTING history Berkley Sensation trade paperback edition / March 2009 Library of Congress Cataloging-in-Publication Data Cassidy, Dakota. The accidental human / Dakota Cassidy.--Berkley sensation trade pbk. ed. p. cm. eISBN : 978-1-101-01472-1 1. Women sales personnel--Fiction. 2. Selling--Cosmetics--Fiction. 3. Vampires--Fiction. I. Title. PS3603.A8685A64 2009 813''.6--dc22 2008049049 DEDICATION For my friends who love my craziness like a red-blooded male loves a good Victoria''s Secret catalogue: Diane Whiteside, Sheri Fogarty, Kira Stone, Michelle Hoppe, Angela Knight, Erin, Jaynie Ritchie,Vicki Burklund, and Kim Castillo. A very special thanks to Terri Smythe, Michele Bardsley, and Renee George because--suuunnnschineeeee on my schoulders makes me haaaaapppyyyy. They''ll know what that means--I hope they know what they mean to me. As always,The Babes and my Yahoo! group of "Accidental Fans"--you guys rule! Some fans that flew from parts near and far to come to my crazy book launch party--Amy, Kaz, Ali, and Alana--dudes, you da coolest. My poor mother, Eleanor, who does everything for me but brush my teeth, and even then, she leaves a sticky note on my desk to remind me it''s a no-discussion rule. My sons, Travis and Cameron, who''ve found deep meaning (and dinner) in the middle of two pieces of stale bread and a slice of pasteurized American cheese.Thanks for making due when I don''t have time to cook. Mommy loves ya. My editor, Cindy Hwang, who so gets me and offered me the opportunity to finish this series that is so close to my heart. Leis Pederson, her assistant, who''s brilliantly organized and crazy awesome. My agent, Deidre Knight, without whom none of this would be possible. Nina Bangs, who, when I began writing just four years ago after reading so many of her books, inspired me to take paranormal romance to the place I call zany and made me feel like it was crazy cool, but above all, okay. And always, Rob, who smiles fondly while the swirling cloud that can sometimes be me and my personality flits from place to place, but also because he''s taught me what it is to be loved by the real definition of a man. He cheers my successes, soothes my fears, and knows nothin'' says lovin'' like a Starbucks white chocolate mocha. A very special thanks to Elaine Smythe. Here''s to a woman well loved, a battle well fought, a friendship forever remembered and cherished. ACKNOWLEDGMENTS To Wikipedia, Diane Whiteside (brilliant writer), whose knowledge of all things historical left me shamefaced and very grateful she''s my friend. To Gerianne Bliss, MD, who answered many of my medical-symptom-type questions. Also, to the Johns Hopkins website, and Iamtransgendered.com. And to all the women who may read this-- please, please , see your gynecologist for regular checkups and pay it forward by hassling the crap out of the women in your lives to make sure they do, too. CHAPTER 1 "Wanda?" Damn. Not Nina. Not now. "Hey, Nina. What''s up?" "What''s up? Did you just ask me what''s up all casual-like? Have you lost your fucking mind? How could you ask me what''s up? What the hell''s up with you ?" Wanda ran a shaky finger down her list of things to prepare for tonight''s Bobbie-Sue in-home party and answered distractedly, "I don''t know what you mean." She braced the phone against her shoulder and put her pen behind her ear. Darn, had she made enough vegetable dip? Oh, God--vegetable dip was crucial to any in-home party. A clammy sweat accumulated on her palms as she grabbed her pen and searched her list of things to do for the amount of vegetable dip she''d made. "What do you mean you don''t know what I mean? Were you up reading those stupid romance novels into the wee hours again? What''d I tell you about reading that shit? It''s bad for your eyes, it leaves you with unrealistic expectations of a man, and it keeps you up too late.Then you don''t get enough sleep, and lately, you really look like you could use some shut-eye." Running a finger over her throbbing temple, Wanda struggled to stay focused and ignore Nina''s gibe about her appearance. She had a damned-good reason why she looked so tired. Like the biggest reason ever. A sob welled in Wanda''s chest, begging to be set free. Breathing. She was breathing. At least for the moment, anyway. Next week? Maybe not so much. "Look, lay off the romance novels, okay? They''re my escape and I''m not going to defend them to you for the millionth time. Besides, don''t make me break out the ''alpha male'' card.You have one, and so does Marty. So again, I say, those romance authors can''t be far off the mark. Now, I''m lost, Nina, and I have tons to do before tonight''s Bobbie-Sue extravaganza. So what are you talking about and hurry up, you cranky night dweller. I have a Bobbie-Sue in-home party this evening, and I haven''t even begun to make my cheese log yet. Do explain and please, by all means, do it with your potty mouth. I learn new words to add to my truck driver''s vocabulary every day being friends with you." If Nina were still a breather, Wanda just knew she''d screech a frustrated sigh. Instead she huffed into the phone. "Oh, the fuck you don''t know what I mean, Ms. Schwartz. Whe

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