Description: THINNER THAN THOU 1 When you''re alone in your mind you may think you''re special, but you''re only ever another dumb person driving around inside that stupid body. It''s no better than a car dealer''s loaner, you know? Forget what the Reverend Earl preaches. The body you are using is no temple, it''s a trap for the contents of your head. You want to think about who you are and what to do about it but instead you obsess over the parts that people see. Keep it clean and keep it polished or they''ll come for you. Perfect hair, you need. Perfect outfits. Perfect abs and pecs! Image is everything. You grow up with this and in case you don''t happen to know, they teach it in all your classes. The Abercrombie twins are roving the landscape looking for their big sister Annie. Betz Abercrombie and her twin brother Danny are bombing along U.S. State Road Whatever in Dave Berman''s Saturnbecause Dave is the one with the car. Plus he has an interest. Dave is kind of in love with Annie and Betz is kind of in love with Dave. Betz Abercrombie loves Dave Berman but she can''t do anything about it until they find Annie and spring her from this terrible place. Then she can get Annie to sign off on Dave so she can kiss him and the rest of her life can start. And Danny? He loves their big sister every bit as much as Betz does, but he is also in love with a dream. Until they find her, all their dreams are on hold. Annie, um, Got in Trouble so the folks sent her away. They did it because of her condition. Annie tried like crazy to keep it a secret but they pounced as soon as she started to show. Mom and Dad were all, "Think of the disgrace!" Now Annie is trapped in this kind of a convent, at a secret location as yet to be identified. She''s in this, well, it''s one of those institutions for girls who live outside the limits, like, if Annie kept on going the way she was she might just fall off the edge of the civilized world like a medieval vessel sailing straight off the map. The day after they did it Dad was all, "It''s for her own good," but Mom was crying when they took her away. The Dedicated Sisters have her, and the twins are going to break her out. The Dedicated Sisters are not exactly nuns but they dress up like nuns. To get your attention, the twins suppose. They think what they''re doing is more important than religion. Unless it is a religion. It''s hard to know. The Deds go around in brown nun outfits that scare the crap out of you, every school Health Ed textbook has the photo. In the books the Dedicated Sisters are lined up like an army of Godzillas marching in to straighten you out. That isn''t the worst. Big, tough Dedicated Sisters glare out at you from cautionary posters in every fast-food place and coffee shop where kids hang out. Just in case you forget yourself and start to have fun. There are Ded posters on the pillars in every arcade and every movie house in every mall where kids like the Abercrombies go. The dreaded Deds are posed in front of this Gothic heap, and even that is ominous; it crouches like a monster''s castle on ahigh peak and above the convent, black birds soar and you don''t know if they''re vultures or what. In case you still don''t get it, the legend reads: YOUR BODY IS A TEMPLE. IF YOU CAN''T KEEP IT SACRED, WE WILL. Nobody knows what the Dedicated Sisters do to you in those places, but everybody knows you come back changed. The twins have heard tales. First they take away your cell phone and sweep your hard drive, every single megabyte down to the last K. They stick you in these little rooms with no Internet connection and no TV, and they rip off your earrings and pull out all your studs and laser off every one of your tattoos. Between them they take away every bit and piece that tells the world you''re really you. You can''t go out! Their sacred, holy aim is to shape you up and put you in your place. These humongous women patrol the halls in their not-exactly habits with the dread calipers swinging from the fearsome tape measure knotted around the waist and then, God help you. Nobody knows what goes on, exactly, but everybody knows it is the Fate Worse than Death. Poor Annie is in one of these places, she''s been gone for a whole week and the hell of it is that the twins didn''t find out where she was until today. In all their worst imaginings they never thought good old Mom and Dad would ... but they did. A nnie Got in Trouble and their folks shipped her off in the middle of the night. She didn''t even get to say good-bye. It happened like that! One day the twins were sitting on the plaid sofa in the family room watching TV with good old Annie in her big shaggy sweater: One Size Hides All, and the next morning she was gone. Betz and Annie shared the pink bedroom with Mom''s flowered chintz curtains and the mirrored wall from the beginning, so Betz pretty much knows what''s going on with her big sister even though the ''rents don''t talk about it and when they do, they never look you in the face. Betz knows but until shetold him, Danny didn''t have a clue. With this kind of thing guys are always the last to know. The minute the ''rents tumbled to Annie''s condition they dialed the 900 number. A black van came and took her away in the middle of the night. The next morning Betz woke up to megasilence in the pink bedroom. Something in the night, she thought, half-asleep. Something happened in the night. She sat up. "Annie?" Annie wasn''t anywhere. The other twin bed hadn''t been slept in and all her stuff was gone. The only thing she''d left behind was her phone. The swift, jealous part of Betz''s heart rushed ahead to Dave Berman; had Annie run away with him? Shaking, she hit Dave''s name on Annie''s speed dial--she left her phone!--and when he answered, she held her breath. Not there. Don''t ask how, she already knew. Annie was not there. Over his muttered, "Talk fast, it''s your dollar," she heard Dave''s mom whingeing in the background and Saturday-morning cartoons coming in on Dave''s pocket TV. "Hello?" Dave said at the other end. "Hello?" She tried all of Annie''s friends. Janet. Laurie. Nell. She went to Danny''s room. "Get up. It''s Annie." "Go away, it''s Saturday." "Danny, she''s missing!" "That''s crazy." "She''s gone, Danny. All her stuff is gone." His body snapped together like a closing jackknife. He sat up. "No way!" "Way, Danny. She''s totally gone." "She''s gotta be somewhere." Sleepy guy, knuckling his scalp. "I don''t think so. I called everybody on her speed dial and nobody knows." "She left her phone ?" "Totally. Look." "That''s terrible!" "I''m scared." "She could be hiding, right?" "I hope so. Come on!" They wasted good time looking in dumb places, trying to kid themselves that it was some kind of stupid joke, but it was no joke. She wasn''t hidden behind a door or in a closet and she wasn''t in the attic, either. Annie was totally missing and when they checked the dressers and the cedar chest in the attic all her stuff was gone. When they came boiling downstairs and into the kitchen, shouting, the ''rents smiled into their breakfast cereal like it was any other morning in the world. "Mom, Dad, Annie''s gone!" "Kidnapped, maybe. Mom!" "Mom, Dad, call 911!" Mom smiled and shook her head, like: kids today and Dad turned back to his morning paper as if they weren''t there. You trust these parents you grew up with because it is written into their job description that they love you and take care of you, but who knows? Who really ever knows? Annie was nowhere and here were the ''rents acting like it was any ordinary Saturday morning in the life of the world. The sunlight picked up the shine on Dad''s beginning bald spot and highlighted Mom''s freckles, every single one. Betz said, "Mom, Dad. Say something!" Same old kitchen: sunlight on the ceiling, counters clean and polished. Breakfast set out on the table just the way it always was. Orange juice and milk in paper cups, vitamins and nutrition bars laid out at their places and to keep them in shape, matched running shoes set on the nice tile floor by the back door for the whole family. Minus one. Danny knuckled Dad''s arm. "Aren''t you going to say something?" "Good morning to you too." "Where is she?" "The shoes, Mom, where are her shoes?" The ''rents kept on eating their Raisin Bran, like, where''s who ? Betz slid into the chair next to their dad. "Come on, Dad. This is a 911 situation." "No it isn''t." "Kidnapping. Home invasion, or something worse!" "Don''t leap to conclusions, dear." "Well, somebody''s got her!" Then Mom said something absolutely astounding, and if her voice shook when she said it, Betz was too angry to notice. "We know." And Dad--their father that they''ve had all their lives!--Dad blinked those blue eyes like Annie''s, wide and pretty and mild as milk, and he rubber-stamped Mom as if there had never been any question about it. "Honey, we know." "You know !" You grow up with these people and you trust them because trust is in your job description and just when you think you''ve got it nailed they turn on you and do something like this. Mom said, "It''s for her own good, dear." "What is?" Betz smacked the table so hard that the bowls jumped. Skim milk sloshed like a thrown ink blot. "What did you do to her?" "Don''t worry

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