Description: He Laughed with His Other Mouths SCIENCE UNFAIR "Jasper Dash!" a voice called. "Someone is looking for you!" Jasper Dash, Boy Technonaut, looked up from his welding torch. He was putting the final touches on his science fair project. He shut off the torch''s bright white flame. He lifted the visor of his welding helmet to see who was speaking to him. It was a teacher. They were in the school cafeteria. Everyone was setting up their science fair projects on folding tables. Kids had drawn posters on foam core. They had ant farms and pet iguanas. They had videos to show. Jasper Dash had a fifteen-foot-tall, mysterious machine with a built-in nuclear reactor. You have probably never heard of Jasper Dash, Boy Technonaut. Once, he was famous. He invented rocket cars and submarines and even a bicycle that drilled to the center of the Earth. He was, in fact, the hero of a series of old books with names like Jasper Dash and His Amazing Interplanetary Runabout, Jasper Dash and His Incredible Undersea Drill, Jasper Dash and His Attractive Photon Sweater, Jasper Dash on Death Mesa, and Jasper Dash: Beyond Space! And Under Time!I He was a blond-haired boy full of pluck and adventure. He fought evil and greed with both fists, which left his feet free to scissor-kick wicked German barons. Unfortunately, no one really reads Jasper''s books anymore. He has not aged or changed since his books originally came out, back in the twentieth century. He has always been thirteen or so, and is always inventing rockets and radio-control airplanes. Back in the day, millions of kids had read his adventures. Hundreds of thousands had crammed their closets with his cardboard zap guns and die-cast metal spaceships and decoder scarves. Now, no one read his books other than his friends. Luckily, Jasper didn''t care about fame and fortune. He didn''t care about much other than his inventions--and truth and justice, of course. "Thank you, Ms. Shellberg," he said. "Who is it who''s looking for me?" "One of the students . . . Lily Gefelty. She said she''s helping you with your presentation. I saw her looking for you over there. Should I tell her where your booth is?" "Yes, please, ma''am!" said Jasper. "Lily''s going to pull the sheet off my invention!" The teacher smiled at him and secretly hoped this time the invention wouldn''t have mechanical tentacles. She went off to find Lily. Jasper didn''t go to school, and hadn''t for a long time, but he was always invited to participate in the school''s science fair. Recently, however, the principal and the school board had talked about leaving him out. He always meant well, of course, but somehow Jasper''s inventions did not seem to work as well as they had back in the last century, in the 1930s, forties, and fifties. In the last few years, in fact, his science fair inventions had occasionally malfunctioned and caused problems, and one of them had even ended up roaring, "TREMBLE BEFORE ME!" which no one, least of all Jasper, appreciated. His new, big machine lurked under its white sheet. Lily Gefelty ran to his side. "Hey, Jas!" she said. "Are you ready?" Jasper knelt, tinkering with some bolts. "Absolutely," he said. He rapped softly on the metal. "Why, this gizmo is going to knock your socks off." Lily grinned. She loved his enthusiasm. "What is it?" she asked. "What does it do?" Before he could answer, there was a loud, crowing laugh from the next booth. It was a group of the school''s jerks. They were pointing at Jasper''s project and cackling. One of them asked, "What is it this year, boy wonder?" They said, "You always have the stupidest machines." Jasper did not look at them. He just fell silent and pretended to shine his contraption''s hubcaps. "Don''t pay any attention," whispered Lily. One of the jerks yelled, "The only reason anyone ever comes to the science fair is to see what stupid thing you''ll do next." "I believe," said Jasper, with dignity, "that you will all be surprised and dumbfounded when you see what I have come up with this year." He inspected their project, then tried to be friendly by saying, "And may I say that I hope your chemical analysis of orange spray-cheese is warmly received by an inquisitive public." The jerks laughed again and turned away. They leaned against their table. "Don''t think about them," said Lily. "Everyone thinks you''re great." Jasper said, "My last few science fair projects have perhaps not been very successful. Though what is success? I do not think many youngsters have ever transported a whole kindergarten class to another dimension. And gotten them back. All of them."II He cleared his throat. "Plus an extra student who we never could explain. Isn''t that a kind of victory? I try so hard. . . ." "You''re going to be super today," said Lily. "No matter what your invention is." "Super stupid," added one of the jerks from the next booth over. Lily flinched and didn''t know what to say. She was a very shy person. Her hair hung in front of her eyes, and she liked the fact that it hid her face a little. When she needed to see something interesting, she blew her bangs out of her eyes. She wished sometimes that she could just watch the world while floating around invisibly, and never be seen or heard. Now that they were being made fun of, she felt particularly shy. She was silent. She and Jasper didn''t look at each other. The Boy Technonaut stood up, put down his wrench, and wiped his hands on his shorts. "Okeydokey," he said. "Whenever that crowd comes in, we''ll be ready for them." When all the exhibits in the Pelt Science Fair were ready, the teachers would throw open the doors to the dining hall, and all the parents and kids waiting outside would come in. There would be a little speech by the principal, Mr. Krome, and then they''d invite their special guest, Jasper Dash, Boy Technonaut, to unveil his newest creation. Then refreshments would be served and everyone could spend a pleasant hour at the different tables finding out about the life cycle of locusts and the different strata of the Earth''s crust. Jasper and Lily stood anxiously and whispered to each other about the way she was going to pull the sheet off the invention. Lily had practiced at home, on the dining room table. She had discovered a special flick of the wrists so that the cloth would whoosh up and then float gently down. She wanted everything to go perfectly for Jasper. It was time. The teachers opened the doors. Everyone filed in, shaking hands and gossiping. Parents who hadn''t seen one another for months waved across the room. Kids were squirming, excited to show off their butterflies and seismometers. Mr. Krome, the principal, tall and businesslike, bustled up to Jasper. "We''re almost ready," Mr. Krome said. "Please, please don''t blow us all up." "Have I ever blown you up, Mr. Krome?" "No. The fuse was damp." The principal looked around. "Do you have a parent anywhere? Is your father coming or something?" This was not a very sensitive question to ask. Jasper blinked and looked down at the floor. Then he said awkwardly, "I, um, never knew my father." "Oh. I''m so sorry," said Mr. Krome, embarrassed. "I just want someone here in case another one of your projects starts yelling, ''Kneel and obey.'' And calls the teachers ''puny human rubbish.''" "Yes, I . . . why, there''s my mother. Over there. Say, hi there, Mom!" Jasper''s mother, Dolores Dash, swept over, taking Jasper''s hands in her own. She had once been an astronomer. Jasper Dash did not really have a father. He had been created by a highly concentrated beam of information projected from the region of the Horsehead Nebula. Mrs. Dash was dressed in a sharp, sherbet-green suit. Her hair was swirled and piled up in a big, classy bell on her head. "Jasper, honey," she said. "I''m so excited! Why, hello, Mr. Krome. You are so kind to ask Jasper to participate in the science fair again. You should know that Jasper has been working on his project for weeks. It''s a big secret. He won''t say a single peep about it to anyone." Jasper smiled shyly. "Great," said Mr. Krome. "And now you''re going to spring it on an unsuspecting world." "I certainly am," said Jasper. The principal sighed. "You ready?" "Mr. Krome," said Jasper, "I spread ''ready'' on my sandwiches." "I know you do," said Mr. Krome. "Just remember, ''Accidental Death'' is a lunch counter I don''t want to visit." Jasper nodded. "There will be no problems. Cross my heart," he said, "and hope to . . . um . . ." The principal raised his eyebrow. "Never mind," said Jasper. It was time. Mr. Krome swiveled and clapped his hands. He held up an arm.

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