Venus in Blue Jeans: Why Mothers and Daughters Need to Talk About Sex
- List Price: $24.00
- Binding: Hardcover
- Publisher: Houghton Mifflin Company
- Publish date: 01/01/2000
Venus in Blue Jeans is the first book to focus squarely on the communication between mothers and adolescent daughters on that most taboo of subjects -- sex. With rich and timely insights, Nathalie Bartle demystifies this conversation for today's well-meaning parents and adds an important new dimension to our understanding of the ways in which adolescent girls are thinking -- and talking -- about sex and sexuality.
A protege of Carol Gilligan, Bartle draws from her studies of mother-daughter communication to reveal the invaluable role moms play in helping girls within a broader context the sexual information -- or misinformation -- they receive from peers and the media.Juxtaposing the colorful stories from 23 mother-daughter pairs, she underscores that our girls are in dire need of the full sweep of sexual information, from the emotional components of relationships to the powerful sway of desire. But how can a mother speak honestly without encouraging sex? This book points the way for successful communication, addressing such questions as these: When are girls most receptive to different kinds of information? What do girls know? How do mothers' experiences color their advice? How do they discuss desire?
At a time when more than 50 percent of girls have sex by age nineteen, silence is no longer a viable option. Venus in Blue Jeans argues passionately for open and clear communication, speaks the unspeakable, and urges mothers, and us all, to nurture fully informed young women for their most intimate relationships.
In the1950s in my conservative Christian community of northern Texas, there were no confusing messages about sexual activity for girls because everyone simply delivered the same dictum: Sex before marriage was wrong; it was a sin. If a girl felt "unnatural urges", she was supposed to sublimate them by joining ballet or marching in the school band. Of course no one exactly discussed these urges, and watching my own daughter grow up, I recalled my own feelings of adolescent confusion and loneliness ... If I had turned to my mother for advice about sex and sexuality, I am sure that I would have been disappointed. What my mother discussed with me -- what was safe -- was, among other things, how to make a good salad.
"America has a cultural split personality when it comes to discussing sex. On the one hand, we view sex as deeply private... on the other, we talk about sex everywhere, all the time -- in the media and in the movies, on televsion and in cyberspace, on the faces of billboards and on the backsides of cabs..".
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