Description: If Dracula slept with A Confederacy of Dunces, this wry, funny first novel about a feckless, overweight vampire would be the result. Vampire, nosferatu, creature of the night-whatever you call him-Jules Duchon has lived (so to speak) in New Orleans, city of excess, far longer than there have been drunk coeds on Bourbon Street. Weighing in at a whopping four hundred and fifty pounds, swelled up on the sweet, rich blood of people who consume the fattiest diet in the world, Jules is thankful he can't see his reflection in a mirror. What's worse, after more than a century of being undead, he's watched his neighborhood truly go to hell-and now, a new vampire is looking to drive him out altogether. With the help of Maureen, the morbidly obese stripper-vampire who made him, and Doodlebug, an undead cross-dresser who (literally) flies in from the coast, Jules must find a way to contend with the hurdles that life throws at him...without getting a stake through the heart. It's enough to give a man the blues.

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