Description: Chapter One Barbara Parkins (or Staizer) leaned over the side of the tub in despair. The bulk of her bosom pressed painfully against the lip, her flesh cold from a damp line where splashing water had wet through her thin cotton blouse. From her right hand dangled a shiny new wrench. Beside her on the floor, open to page six, "What to Do With a Drippy Tap!," was a pamphlet from the hardware store where she''d bought the shiny new wrench and the less shiny but equally new washer. A little package of them, as though she would be needing a half-dozen more sometime in the future. The pamphlet was called Everyone''s Guide to Simple Plumbing, but was clearly marketed at women: a sturdy-looking blonde in overalls and a tool belt lay under a sink on the cover, and most of the title heads were fun! And everything ended in an exclamation mark! As though home repair for the desperate was just another Hollywood party! She wanted to scream. She had been a half hour getting the tap off (righty-tighty, lefty -loosy), only to find that the part in question was as pretty, shiny and new-looking as the washer she''d just bought to replace it. Did that matter? The tap was in two pieces on the floor of the tub, near the drain. She had carefully placed the old washer -- easily distinguishable from the new washer because it was wet -- on the tank of the toilet, where it could be even more easily distinguished. The new one was in place. Her wrist was sore from trying to get the tap off and she was taking a breather. Staizer. She was Barbara Staizer now, she supposed. Parkins was over. She hadn''t actually decided yet to go back to her maiden name, it was nearly as tainted with bad baggage as her married name, and wished she could just pick some clean, fresh name to start over with. Something simple like Smith or Jones, or White or Brown. It had been suspiciously easy to switch from her birth name to her married name. She remembered her astonishment at how easy it had been. All she had to do was present her marriage certificate and voil! New person. Barbara Staizer became Barbara Parkins. What was that song? Water from nowhere rolled out of the top of the tap and slid down the nozzle, dripping into the drain. The water line had been shut off (page two, "Ready, set, repair!"). The water ran anyway, as though not subject to the law of physics. " -- how that marriage license works, on chamber MAIDS and hotel CLERKS!" And on clerks in the Vital Statistics offices, also. Like a flash card, a badge. Annie Get Your Gun? No. Funny Girl. Barbra Streisand. The wrench was heavy. Barbara Staizer-Parkins-Something-else-like-Brown picked up the tap from the tub and gingerly placed it over the nut and started wrenching. It was easier the second time. Righty-tighty. She was pretty sure it wasn''t as easy to go back to your maiden name, but that was one of the many things she would have to find out. Anyway, she wasn''t even sure she would. She was just trying it on, mostly out of anger. Petey (Peter) was still Parkins and that was something to consider. There was a minimum of mess to Simple Plumbing, and the tiny bit of water that had gotten around stayed mostly in the tub, or had been absorbed by her blouse. The house was a little cool and she suspected that it was poorly insulated, even though it had been renovated by the people who''d owned it last. She''d wondered more than once about those people in the last three days. It was a noisy house. Had they left it because of that? For instance, the (damn) tub ran. Never when she was in the room, or even upstairs, although she had heard it the other night in the tentative place before sleep: it had woken her. It took just a moment to place the sound. Sitting up in bed, feet on floor, up and at ''em, she could hear it, muffled as though the bathroom door was closed, even though she could see it was open. It was water running from tap into tub, a medium flow, complete with splashing and the hollow sound of pipes in the wall clanging their work. It was a familiar sound like winter wind rattling windows and the newspaper banging against the front door, the fridge coming on. There was no figuring it out: it was the tub, filling up with water. Then draining. And that was the worst part. She''d finally gotten up out of bed, barefoot onto spring-cold floor, and padded to the bathroom. By the time she reached the doorway of the dark little room, a trek of no more than four steps, she heard the distinct, unmistakable -- no arguing, I''m not a moron it is as familiar as rattling windows fridge coming on -- sound of the plug popping out of the drain, and the water running out. Clear as day. She''d thought Petey was playing, of course. She''d said his name -- in a whisper because it seemed the right thing to do with the dark and all -- but he hadn''t answered, and when she flicked the light switch beside the door, she looked first to his room. The light caught his smooth white face in sleep. That''s when her heart caught in her throat because obviously there''s someone in the house but that lasted only a second because it was too late anyway, she''d turned the light on. No escape lady, ha ha! Someone in the house and he''s taking a bath? The bathroom, tiny as it was, was empty. So was the tub. Empty and dry. She thought it only looked dry, so she''d bent over it and ran her hand along the bottom. Dry as a bone. She spun around tensed and looked over her shoulder, only to see nothing. The house was quiet again: there was no hollow, muffled clang of pipes in the wall, no water draining out. She''d imagined it. It had been part of a dream. Something had made the noise. It had to have been the tap. Although it was not the way it had been described in the pamphlet and the man at the hardware store had gone blank-faced as she''d explained it and hastily told her it was likely a leaky washer. He''d insisted, really, as she''d tried to explain. There had been no dripping sound, she''d explained, just the sound of water running and draining. (She hadn''t gone so far as to explain the other noise, the one that precipitated the draining of the tub, because it sounded too preposterous, even to her, and she''d heard it.) "It''s most likely a washer, ma''am," he''d said patiently, about one more question from a yawn or a sigh. "It usually is." She''d gone along with it because she didn''t know, and while Elizabeth Staizer didn''t raise no fools, she wasn''t exactly Mrs. Fixit, although she had once put together a yard composter from a kit. And there was no Mr. Fixit anymore. And, insult to injury and poor repair skills, it turned out Elizabeth Staizer had raised at least one fool. Barbara dried the wrench on a towel and left it on the back of the toilet. She tossed the old washer into the little wicker garbage basket beside the sink and put the pamphlet beside the wrench. She might need it again. Maybe some pipe would explode somewhere and really test her mettle. She went into the bedroom and changed her shirt, knowing full well the whole exercise had been a waste of time. There was nothing wrong with the washer she had replaced. Before going downstairs for a cup of tea, she checked her face in the mirror of the little dresser she''d pinched from her mom''s house for signs of crying. Her eyes were slightly red and puffy, but no worse than usual. She would rinse her face with cold water. That would take some of the swelling down and lessen the redness around her mouth, too. Petey would be home from school soon. She didn''t want him to know that she''d been sad today. The tub was reflected in the mirror over the sink. Barbara did not keep her eyes closed long when she rinsed her face. She kept her feet tucked close under the pedestal sink, far away from the claws that held up the tub, her eyes fixed on the tub, its reflection white and cool in the mirror. She had her tea in the living room. There were fewer boxes in there and less work to be done. The pictures that had to go up were stacked against the walls and she wasn''t much of a knickknack person. The bookshelves were up and two boxes of books were beside it, but that wasn''t bad and she could have those put away before Petey got home. The TV and VCR were hooked up -- correctly too, the illustrations in the owner''s manual much easier to follow than the written directions -- and the stereo had been up since their first day. The room looked terribly bare. She and Dennis had divided up much of the furniture, and she hadn''t been very strident in those days. He had gotten most of the good things, when she thought about it. She did get the sofa -- a lovely, creamy-colored overstuffed soft thing, long enough to sleep on. He''d got the chair that matched, and the coffee table and one of the side tables. The side table that she''d taken had the stereo on it. Her cup of tea was on the floor at her feet. The decor was minimalist, to put a spin on it. The pictures would help. Time Marches On. The pictures were currently objects of panic. She had tried to put one up in the hall on the way up the stairs that morning and had succeeded only in hammering a hole in the wall. The nail had loosened the drywall and fallen through. She hadn''t attempted another. She would have to ask someone what to do. The pictures in their old house had just been hanging. She had no idea how they''d gotten there, but she supposed that Dennis had put them up. She wondered if there was a guide called Everyone''s Guide to Hanging Pictures, Everyone''s Guide to Hauling a Spare Bed Upstairs, Everyone''s Guide to Unclogging t

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